YES! WE HAVE NO BANANAS

Everyone knows the (German) saying: The banana’s bent because no one went into the jungle to make it straight again. I wish it was so! But in reality (which is like, thousand times lamer), the banana is bent because the fruits have to reach and lean for the sun after the huge leaves have fallen off. They need light to grow, and because of their marginal growth direction they have to fight against gravity, which is double the effort compared to other fruits!

Throw some banana chips down your throat when you’re having a bad day at work or at school, or if you just want to get over the typical “tired moments” in your life. That’s because they contain many short chained carbohydrates which instantly go into the blood from where they support us with energy. But don’t eat the whole pack if you’re really tired- the only solution to that problem is a balanced schedule. Go to bed on time, that’s healthy and doesn’t let you gain as much weight.

And today we take care of the toothless department. I mean, there is a possibility that some old folks is among us, you know, those with the fake plastic teeth who can’t eat everything they get served. That’s why we’re going to talk liquid today in hell’s kitchen. And: it’s easy! What more could one possibly want? Find out the entire secret »

Sometimes people’s abilities are seriously incredible. Tell me again that people like Paris Hilton are nuts. Because when those Japanese start their shows, our celebrities seem like little jokes. I really wouldn’t want to eat that banana, anyway.

The European Union is surely a very busy club and has many important things to decide upon. On a daily base. And yet they manage to steal some time to take care of the banana and decide that a banana is only to be called that when the outer curve is at least 14 cm long. Which kind of explains why Chiquita, sporting the 20 cm bananas, is the world leader. We learn what women always knew: size matters.

Take: One fancy glass. It would be good to know what the heck a fancy glass is, I know. I’ll explain later. Now take a shaker, and if you don’t know what THAT is, you shouldn’t be here. Fill the shaker with crushed ice, 1.35 oz of Tia Maria, 0.7 oz of banana liqueur, 0.35 oz of cognac, 1.35 oz orange juice and 3.4 oz of banana juice. Close the shaker and start shaking. Without waking the neighbors. Please.

Style up your drink with a slice of banana and a cocktail cherry. You’re done! A la sature!

A fancy glass is bellied, usually takes in about 10 oz and is bent to express the exclusivity of the cocktails. Fancy that? I mean, err, y’all banana with me? Okay, whatever.

It´s always strange to see which weird stuff doctors carry around at work. They want us to believe it´s a banana safety tank but truth is that the box is full with little red pills to make us tame. No clue what the guys from Tupperware are thinking about.

Sent by Judy from Munich, Germany